


Don't You Dare

by archaeologist_d



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Era, Canon Universe, During Canon, Episode: s02e04 Lancelot and Guinevere, F/M, Feelings, Friendship, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:14:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25717117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archaeologist_d/pseuds/archaeologist_d
Summary: Merlin was friends with Lancelot, Arthur, and Gwen. But he didn’t know what to do about feelings and longing and all that emotional stuff when it came to love.  Canon AU
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17
Collections: Merlin Canon 2020





	Don't You Dare

It was a mess.

The four of them gathered around a campfire after rescuing Gwen, each of them full of secrets, Merlin’s of magic but the others seemed to be fighting some kind of emotional battle. The undercurrents of longing and pain were almost visible in the darkening sky.

All three of them were his friends, all three he wished to be happy, but it seemed that with each unspoken accusation, their hurt just intensified until Merlin could scarcely breathe.

Merlin didn’t know what to do.

When Arthur told Merlin about his feelings for Gwen at the stream, Merlin had been taken aback. After all, it’s not like anything would come of it. In Ealdor, a headman’s daughter could marry a sheepherder’s son and no one would think anything of it. But Camelot was full of rules that made no sense, of expectations and heartbreak and longing. Much as Merlin was trying to be a friend to Arthur and make light of a romance that couldn’t go anywhere, Arthur’s response had been intense.

Arthur had talked of marriage — of marriage! — and waiting and caring for her more than anything. Of hurting too much. Because Merlin was a friend, he wanted to help him. Because that’s what friends do.

But it was pretty obvious that Gwen had come to view Lancelot as something more than just a passing acquaintance helping her to escape.

The look in her eyes when she placed her hand in Lancelot’s as they escaped, the way Lance looked back at her as if she was his whole world, it was clear she’d made her choice and it wasn’t Arthur.

And Arthur knew it.

No wonder no one was talking.

* * *

Lancelot took first watch. Gwen seemed to be asleep and Arthur was pretend-snoring, and Merlin wanted to fix whatever it was so he went over to talk to Lancelot.

Lancelot glanced at Merlin, then looked over at Arthur. “He has feelings for her, doesn’t he?”

Not knowing what to say, Merlin said nothing, but Lancelot just nodded. “I will not stand in her way. She means more to me than anything, and if that means leaving so that she can be with Arthur, then that’s what I will do.”

Moving to stand beside him, staring off into the distance, Merlin tilted his head back toward Gwen. “Don’t you think you should let her decide?”

Closing his eyes a moment, his hand rubbing against his chest as if whatever he was thinking was tearing him apart, Lancelot just stood there, silent. Finally, not looking in Gwen’s direction, he said, “She has changed me forever, but it cannot be. I have nothing to give her but my heart, and I won’t see her made destitute because of my choices.” Not meeting Merlin’s gaze, Lance let out an unhappy sigh. “I will leave before she wakes.”

From behind them, Gwen said, “So you are going to just slip away, then, into the night? Without a word to me?”

Even though she wasn’t aiming her distress at Merlin, he shivered at the fury and hurt there. Gwen was usually the sweetest woman in the world unless something upset her and then she was a force to be reckoned with. The scowl on her face didn’t help, either.

Stepping back a bit, Merlin tried to let them have a little privacy, but he didn’t go too far, just in case he was needed. They were his friends after all, and he’d do whatever he could to help them both.

Besides, someone had to keep watch in case the bandits showed up again.

He didn’t try to listen, honestly he didn’t, but then he didn’t need to. Their whispers carried quite a distance. Merlin doubted they were even aware of it.

Lancelot looked down at his hands, then turned toward her. “Guinevere, I… it is for the best. He is worth a thousand of me.”

The glare she sent him could have crushed stone. But her voice wavered a little as she said, “So what you said in the cells meant nothing then? That my feelings for you meant nothing?”

Reaching for her, then letting his hand drop when he saw just how upset she was, Lancelot said, “They mean everything to me. You have given me hope where I had none. But I have nothing of worth. I won’t have you scrounging in the dirt when you could have so much more.”

That seemed to make Gwen angrier. Stepping closer, scowling, she thrust one finger up into his face as she said, “I’ve worked all of my life. Did you think my working the forge was nothing? Or as a lady’s maid?” Then turning away, walking around in a circle as if trying to gather her thoughts, muttering to herself and shaking her head, finally she wheeled on him again. “And that scrounging in the dirt as you call it is somehow less important? Do you think so little of me?”

Lancelot looked contrite, as if he wanted to gather her up into his arms but didn’t think he’d be welcomed. “I think everything of you but….”

That just made things worse.

“No, there is no but. I never thought to say this, but to steal away into the night and let me think you don’t care, that is the act of a coward,” she said, ice in her voice.

Lancelot looked devastated. “Guinevere, I….”

But Gwen wasn’t done. “You told me that I was worth more to you than Hengist could ever understand. Was that a lie?”

“No, no, never. You are so precious to me that I haven’t the words.” Lancelot reached out to her, his hand hovering between them. 

“Then prove it.” Grabbing onto his hand, she pressed it flat against her cheek, and placed her other hand over his heart. Looking up at him, more softly, she said, “Fight for me, Lancelot. Don’t just abandon me because of some misguided sense of protecting me. I am more than some helpless girl. I can wield a sword and forge one, too. And if you have any love in your heart for me, don’t leave me.”

For a moment, Lancelot just looked down at her, then he nodded toward Arthur. “But what about Arthur? Doesn’t he have some say in this?”

Gwen shook her head. “Some time ago, he told me it wasn’t to be. I’ve accepted that there can never be more. He is as far above me as the stars in the sky.” Leaning toward him, her voice a husky whisper, she said, “I told you my feelings for you will never fade. Will you abandon me now? Knowing that?”

“No, no, I will not, not if you truly feel that way.” Lancelot gave her a tentative smile, then tightened his grip.

“I do. I want you in my life, Lancelot, now and always.” Reaching up, pulling his face down towards hers, Gwen kissed him, at first a brief touch of their mouths together, then with a groan, they seemed to melt into one another, exchanging sounds and movement and intensity.

Merlin knew it was time to go back to the campfire and leave them alone to sort things out.

* * *

When he got back to the campsite, Arthur wasn’t even pretending to be asleep.

“She’s chosen Lancelot,” Arthur said, flat and unhappy. Facing away from the two up on the hill, his back stiff, Arthur sat there, stabbing at the fire with a stick. 

“Yes.” Watching Arthur carefully, seeing the hurt and incomprehension that comes with misery, Merlin said, “I’m sorry.”

Throwing the stick into the fire, as if it were a dagger burying deep into someone’s chest, then watching the sparks shoot up into the night sky, for a moment, Arthur didn’t say anything. Finally, shrugging, he said, “It’s better to know now before things… well, it’s better to know now.” He glanced at Merlin, then stared into the fire. “I have to marry for Camelot anyway. I knew that would be the way of things. I’d hoped that love would be part of that but….”

Merlin moved in a little closer, then bumped shoulders with Arthur, reminding him that he wasn’t alone. “I’m sure whoever you marry will be nice, Besides, I’ll be there to keep you company.”

Arthur scowled at him as if he were insane or at the very least a bit addled in the head. But he didn’t move away, just jostled Merlin’s shoulder a little harder back at him. A reminder that Arthur was the prince and always had to be the best. Sometimes it was annoying but right now, it felt right, it felt like home.

“At least he is worthy of her and she won’t have to wait. I’ll… Camelot always has need of good swordsmen. He can’t be a knight while my father lives but after… I think she’ll be happy.”

And that was why Merlin thought that Arthur would be a great king, more than just someone who wielded power or a great warrior but one who thought of his people before himself. Yes, he could be annoying and selfish at times, but he had a big heart and when he wasn’t trying to hide it, when his father’s influence was shoved aside and compassion reigned instead, Merlin loved him all the more for it. He’d follow this man beyond death itself if he could.

Jostling Arthur’s shoulder a bit harder, just because he didn’t want Arthur to see just how much his words affected him, Merlin said, “I promise I will always be at your side, in whatever way you need me. Even when you are a prat. Even when you are old and wrinkly and drooling.”

Staring at Merlin as if he couldn’t believe that Merlin said that, Arthur shoved him off the log. Then he gave Merlin a big grin, puffing his chest out a little as he said, “You really are an idiot.”

As Merlin struggled to get up, all the while rubbing at his arm where Arthur had shoved him, Arthur reached down and pulled Merlin onto the log again, next to him. Then as he ruffled Merlin’s hair, Arthur said, “But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Merlin grinned back, patting his hair back down into place. “Thanks, I think.”

“Get some sleep. I will wake you at first light. We’ve a long road home. I’m sure Morgana will be thrilled to see Gwen again.” Arthur picked up a stick and began poking at the fire again. “I’d better remind them to get some rest, too.”

Merlin looked up to see Lance and Gwen walking toward them, both looking a bit guilty although Gwen’s back was straight as if she were ready to do battle. Lancelot seemed more contrite, but he didn’t let go of Gwen’s hand, either.

Standing up, Arthur called out to them, “Merlin’s being his usual inept self and you two have been through a battle with wilddeoren and those unwashed brigands so I will be taking the next watch.”

Gwen spoke up, “Arthur, I….”

But Arthur just shook his head. “I am glad Lancelot is here. His skill with the sword will be welcome as we make our way back to Camelot. Merlin would stab himself in the foot if I let him anywhere near a sword. And while I’m known as the best warrior in the kingdom, it’s always good to have back up.” Glancing at Merlin a moment, Arthur said, “I hope that Lancelot will stay once we return. We could use his fighting expertise.”

Gwen started again, “Arthur, we’ve….”

But Arthur didn’t let her finish. “Morgana will be happy to see you both, I am sure. As I said, I only came because she begged me to. Otherwise, things might have turned out very differently. I’ll have to admit to her that she was right. She will crow about it endlessly. It is one of the many burdens I must bear.” He rolled his eyes, then gathered up his sword and turned to go.

Gwen wasn’t about to give up. She said, “We’re….”

She didn’t finish, though, because suddenly she winced and then yanked her hand away from Lancelot’s, glaring at him as she rubbed her fingers.

Her annoyance didn’t seem to bother Lancelot. Instead, nodding to Arthur, he said, “Guinevere, Arthur is right. It is best we rest for our long journey home.” Then bowing his head a moment, he said, “I am at your disposal, Your Highness. In this and all things.”

Arthur acknowledged him with a nod. “I will wake you at first light.” 

With that, he walked up the hill and stood there, alone, a warrior king.

Lancelot turned to Merlin. “He will accept this? He won’t fight for Guinevere?”

“Arthur has a great heart and he can see where Guinevere’s lies.” Merlin glanced up toward Arthur, then turned back to Lancelot. “Just don’t push him. He’s learned to throw goblets with great accuracy, and I don’t want to have to keep ducking just because he’s having a bad day. But he’ll come around.”

“You are a good friend. To all of us.” Lance gripped Merlin’s shoulder a moment and shook it a little before letting go.

“Yeah, I am. So get some rest. It’s long way back to Camelot.” With that, Merlin walked away, back towards where Arthur was standing. Behind him Lance and Gwen were settling in for the night, Lancelot softly talking to Gwen about Arthur and not forcing him to acknowledge them both right then and Gwen agreeing. Merlin was relieved. He wasn’t sure he could endure a battle of lovesick sentiment just at the moment.

When Merlin finally reached Arthur, he said, “I’ll keep you company for a little while.”

Arthur just sent him a look of disbelief. “I’m not a child, Merlin. I’m not scared of the dark like you.”

“Hey, it was that one time.” As Merlin stood next to him, looking out into the night, he said, “Are you okay?”

“I will be. But stop trying to bring feelings into it. You are annoying enough as it is.” But he softened the words with another ruffle of Merlin’s hair and a short, sharp half-hug when he slung his arm around Merlin’s shoulder a moment. “I’m glad you are here, Merlin.”

Merlin smiled. “Me, too.”

And with that, Merlin knew things would be all right after all.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Some of the dialogue is from the episode, written by Howard Overman. Unbetaed.  
> Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.


End file.
